Hurting on the Inside

I always been sensitive and still can't figure out why it's so hard to let go.

I guess the question i need to ask my self is what's really wrong!?!?!

I'm hurt and have been for a while.

It all starts with my dad he doesn't trust me and never has, he treats me different from his other two children.

 I AM NO DIFFERENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will never be alright, sometimes he never even acknowledges me.

It's like i'm invisible or even dead to him.

It's not my fault i'm on this earth

I'm so tired of being the annoying one, the one everyone moves away from or looks at in disgust.

Ever since an accident that happened between me and a certain someone my life has never been the same.

I feel as though someone has stabbed me a trillion times in my heart!

i cry myself to  sleep every night knowing that my deceased relatives look down on me with disappointment. I am filled with hurt, sorry, apologies and e.t.c.

December 11, 2014
This is the day that i ran to my dad to say hello and he looked at me as if he didn't know and i tried to say hey to my sister and again a look of unknowing. The only one who actually came to me was my little brother he gave me a hug as big as the oceans and i will never forget the look in his eyes that told me he loved me and missed me.